Ice Day Sewing

The weather down here went a little crazy yesterday.  Wednesday it was in the 70s, then Thursday night and Friday morning we got sleet, freezing rain, and general wintery weather.

I should be using this time to work on my finals and get things done before next week.  But…I had fabric that was calling my name, and I just couldn't resist.  There's something about a cold, wintery day that just makes me want to curl up with fabric and make something.

I bought the black and white houndstooth fabric from JoAnn Fabrics when their suiting was 60% off.  I've been lusting after their wool suiting for a while now, but fell in love with this wool blend.  It's still lovely to touch and drapes nicely.  Plus, the pattern is just fun.  My original plan was to use some black linen I found in the remnants bin (which was 75% off!), but there wasn't nearly enough.  Instead, I found some leftover red fabric that I thought looked nice with the houndstooth.  It wasn't too plain, but the pattern didn't clash with the wool.

Using the peplum blouse pattern from Simplicity 1590, I sketched out a bodice on some muslin.  The blouse pattern have buttons down the front with darts, and I wanted a princess seam with buttons on the front, so I had to alter the pattern quite a bit.   Also, after testing the pattern out on some scrap fabric, I decided I didn't like the shoulder seams, so I took those out and made the pattern so that the front side was connected to the back side, and the front center was connected to the back center.  I knew the basic shape fit me fairly well. Let me add that I've never done anything like this before, so I was pretty confident it would fail.  

I turned the front pattern piece into two pieces (Front Side and Front Center) by drawing a line from the center of the shoulder, to the side dart, to the lower dart, then followed the dart down to the bottom of the bodice.  I also removed the side dart on the Front Side, which made the Front Side piece more curved.  This took several tries, but eventually I had a pattern I liked.  

The left pattern piece is the back center (top) and front center(bottom).  The right pattern piece is the back side (top) and the front side (bottom).  

When I had the bodice as I wanted it (my husband told me it was the best looking shirt I'd ever made), I cut it out of the red fabric, and put some of the houndstooth around the neckline.  The skirt was easy - I have a basic circle skirt pattern that I adore.  My fabric was wide enough to cut the skirt in one piece.  I added side pockets and a back slit for buttons, and was pretty pleased.  

Here is the dress so far.  The skirt is basted onto the bodice, and the "belt" is actually my husband's tie.  I realize the skirt is now sewed on straight.  But something seems to be missing.  I am not sure where to go from here.  Any suggestions?

Not ready.

I've had a scene from a TV show stuck in my head.  In the sixth season of How I Met Your Mother, Lily steps out of a taxi onto the sidewalk to greet her husband, Marshall.  Marshall is overjoyed with news he just learned, but Lily has some terrible news.  She tells Marshall that his dad had a heart attack, and that he didn't make it.

"My dad's dead?" Marshall asks Lily.  She nods, crying, and he wraps her in his arms.  The two of them rock back and forth like this for a moment.  Then, crying in that way you cry when you don't believe the awful news you just heard, he says:

"I'm not ready for this..."

The camera pans back on the two of them interlocked on the street outside their New York apartment.

I have had this scene stuck in my head for the past few weeks.  That line has repeated itself in my mind over and over again…I'm not ready for this.  I'm not ready for this.

I wasn't ready when I counted the days and realized I would graduate in a month.

I wasn't ready when the pregnancy test was positive and I realized I had to start thinking about life in a whole new scary way.

I wasn't ready when I started bleeding, went to the ER and was told that I was having a miscarriage.

I wasn't ready for the confusion, the uncertainty about what and how to feel after losing something I had never really known.

I wasn't ready when I realized I hadn't turned in my paperwork for Search and Call…that I hadn't found a job after graduation…that I hadn't prepared for life after graduation.

I wasn't ready when I woke up with the worst abdominal pain I'd ever felt.  I wasn't ready when we went again to the hospital and was told I hadn't miscarried, that I had an ectopic pregnancy.

I wasn't ready when they told me they would have to cause a chemical abortion because my pregnancy was, and had never been, viable.

I'm not ready to graduate in 13 days.  I'm not ready to find a new job.  I'm not ready to face the reality of the recent loss in my life.

But are we ever ready?  Are we ever ready for those scary-sudden-life-changing events that jump into our lives unannounced?  Are we ever ready for those just-as-scary-life-changing events that have been on our calendar for months, slowly creeping forward until that date arrives?

But we're never alone in our not-ready-ness.  Like Marshall, I know that I am not alone.  I know that I have Colin to wrap his arms around me.  That I have friends who will go shopping with me and take me to lunch and love me.  I know that in the times when I am not ready - which, let's face it, is most times these days - that my friends will be there.  That they will hold my hand tight so I cannot let go.  And they will fill that space between me and acceptance.  They will stand there and hold me until I can take the steps forward toward acceptance.

I know these things.  I trust in these things.  I have faith in these things.  They have helped me through this, and continue to do so.

When someone is in pain or struggling, we pray that Jesus holds their hand or hugs them tight.  But what has been comforting to me in this time of pain, of struggling, of uncertainty, has been the constant physical embrace of my friends, family, and loved ones.  I do believe that Jesus is with me through all these difficult times.  And I believe that Jesus is with my friends when they hug me or touch my arm in silent support.  But I also know that the physical touch of a person who loves you can be the most comforting thing of all.

I'm not ready for this…for all of this.  But when my friends hug me and hold me, I know that someday, hopefully soon, I will be.